Radiotherapy
programme starts
I shall begin with a little aside. When I gave birth to Katy I had a cleaner,
who helped me at home once a week.
Whilst the standards of cleaning were excellent, I ended up
letting her go. She was training to be a
psychotherapist…
I arrive promptly with Louise, who has kindly given me a
lift. We are guided immediately to Ian
at the radiotherapy desk, who then works through my dates and times for the
coming week, and puts me down for a regular slot from the 9th August
onwards. I have a mixture of different times
to attend over this week, and then from the 9th I have the same time
appointment each day.
We sit down to wait for the appointment, and very quickly, I
am taken for a preparation interview. In
this meeting we establish what is going to happen, the potential side effects,
and that I have not got my chemotherapy drugs yet. My attached nurse has the day off, and has
left me a note with some written guidance on preparing correctly for each
appointment.
Come back in an hour
I am asked to wait for the appointment, however, the nurse
returns to tell me that I have to take
the chemotherapy drugs one hour before the radiotherapy. A student nurse delivers the drugs, which I
take, and then wander off to read the paper in the garden.
Cancer care centre
However, on the way to the garden, I find a cancer help
centre, and go in to ask about using supplements during treatment. I am guided to another department, where I
have a long conversation with Anita, who tells me that they cannot guide me on
diet. She tells me that they only help
people who are inmates, and people who have head and neck radiotherapy. Her manner indicates that she does not think
that this is me, and looks very surprised when I say, that is me. I just can’t help looking well!
So, I find myself talking to a woman that I vaguely
recognise, who asks me if she knows me already.
I ask my usual question “do you play hockey” to which she answers “no”. And she quickly remembers that she was once
my cleaner. Yes, she was Lynn, my old
cleaner. Lynn is counselling me, in preparation for
my first radiotherapy appointment, and how I want to laugh out loud and tell
how it was …
When I return for my appointment, I am accompanied by Lynn. Lynn has given me a stress star to squeeze and
breathe to. It has five points on it
that I can use to highlight people I love. “It was made with love”. She talks about fundraising, and I tell her
that I have been fundraising for Christies for some time. Next event – the 2015 London Marathon. I have
been told that my mask is a “shield”, and that it is there to protect me and
help staff be precise in their work with the x-ray lasers. I am taught some relaxation techniques like
lifting my heels and then letting them relax, whilst breathing out slowly. “Squeeze
your knees together; and now relax.
Breathe out slowly”.
Through my appointment, I have Lynn holding my hand and
guiding me through each stage of it. The
help I found most useful was that she did tell me what they were doing and
why. I am fixed to a bench with my eyes
shut, so to be given this information, really helped me to pace myself; “you are over half way” was a joyous piece of
information. Lynn of course disappears
for the actual x-ray part of the process, and then returns as the staff make
adjustments to my position, and set up machine for next x-ray.
Radiotherapy session
1
So, what happens?
Bear in mind that I have my eyes closed.
They have a series of x-rays to perform.
The bench that I am lying on moves me into the correct position. This feels like a slide, or for some x-rays,
this was a juddering sideways (it felt like it was sideways, but I don’t
know). The staff are putting something
on my “shield” (sorry the name has escaped me, maybe a diode??) – they do this
for every x-ray that they perform. At
one point something is touching my neck and I murmer for them to move it (I
cannot open my mouth). This is done
happily.
For all the x-rays, the staff are very careful to check
every measurement over and over again, and they do not proceed until they are
confident that they have the correct measurements and direction of x-ray beam.
When the x-ray is taken, I see light blue flickering light
through my eye lids. I think I am being
lit up like someone in a giant magic experiment. Or being recreated, like Hugh Jackman in the film, "The Prestige" (This is a film that I would recommend - it is the story of two competing magicians. Michael Caine also plays a key role in the film).
I am concentrating on my breathing. Deep breath in, and then slow exhale. This is working for me and feel relaxed. Lynn mentions “Hern” (not Herm) and I am
annoyed by this.
And it is all over.
It has taken about 20 minutes, but Lynn tells me that this is the
longest session, and as I proceed, the sessions will get shorter.
I still have Lynn talking to me, outside the radiotherapy
room. I tell her that I think I can do
it well tomorrow on my own. She says
that she “knows I can”.
In the toilet after the event, I can see in the mirror that
my “shield” is imprinted on my face. I
have a grid across my nose and my forehead.
