This has now changed to:
0600 1 x omeprazole
0630 2 x paracetemol
0900 1 x dexamethasone (2mg)
1200 1 x paracetemol
1800 2 x paracetemol
1800 1 x dexamethasone (2 mg)
2330 2 x paracetemol
The changes have been a general reduction in pain. This has negated the need for codeine, which has negated the need for drugs to help me pooh.
I still have the ticking in my had and bed squeaking, but it is occurring less and less. I remain convinced that everyone else can hear what is happening inside my head.
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
Thank you for the gifts and a big fab fan loan
These beautiful flowers arrived from Chris, Melissa and Flori in number 7 Thornbridge Ave. These flowers have a beautiful fragrance. Thank you so much.
Here is my candle from Grace. Katy nearly burnt her fingers lighting it. It was my fault for not holding it at an angle. It smells delightful.
North Trafford School Sport Partnership - happy times, good friends
I have three good friends - Belinda Cashin, Julie Miskelly and Kay Statham. We worked together in Trafford when I was a School Sport Partnership Manager. We were based at Flixton Girls' High School. Belinda was school sport coordinator - she taught in the school for three days a week, and worked for the Partnership for two days a week. Julie Miskelly was the administrator for the Partnership, and worked part time for exams in school. Kay was employed by the Partnership to help local people gain employment through sport. There were school sport coordinators in six other secondary schools, and other employees of the Partnership, as the programme grew and developed. I loved my job. I made good friends with Hannah Goddard from a parallel partnership in Trafford.
My role was to increase participation in PE and School Sport in school and out of school hours. We all made and reviewed our own targets - this was central to our way forwards.
We were employed by Jennifer Hart, head teacher of Flixton Girls' High School. School staff like Julie Day and Rick Salt were incredible support to us. Rick Salt remains a funny story, in that, I got him mixed up with Rick Astley (Big 80s singer - I'm gonna pick you up, I'm gonna put you down, I'm gonna ...). I put his name in minutes as Rick Astley, and how we laughed about that. With our help the school achieved Sports College Status. Katy is a 9 month old baby when I start working at the school. In my early days, I got all my breast feeding wrong and ended up with mastitis, and had to take two weeks off school very very sick.
When the head teacher changed the values of the school changed, and it became clear that it would be best for me to move on. I applied to be Director of Sport, received an interview, but was not successful because I was not a qualified teacher. I make the decision to retrain, so that I can apply for jobs at this level. I leave to train as a teacher of maths, because I have a degree in maths. There is lots of additional support for me because I am training to teach a subject in demand.
Belinda, Julie, Kay and myself have continued to meet up as friends. We love the curry house in Sale, which is very close to Julie's house. The chef created fish based meals. The food was always exciting, freshly cut and delicious to eat.
Hey girls - I can't wait until we can meet up again.
Belinda has today sent me a voucher to spend in M & S. It came with a note saying, "I bet you have loads of flowers". How I laughed. Yes I have loads of flowers (and I love them), and it was funny. When I am well I will take the voucher to M & S and really enjoy spending it. Thanks Belinda. I love you. I love you son too. He is a beauty.
Sarah xxxx
My role was to increase participation in PE and School Sport in school and out of school hours. We all made and reviewed our own targets - this was central to our way forwards.
We were employed by Jennifer Hart, head teacher of Flixton Girls' High School. School staff like Julie Day and Rick Salt were incredible support to us. Rick Salt remains a funny story, in that, I got him mixed up with Rick Astley (Big 80s singer - I'm gonna pick you up, I'm gonna put you down, I'm gonna ...). I put his name in minutes as Rick Astley, and how we laughed about that. With our help the school achieved Sports College Status. Katy is a 9 month old baby when I start working at the school. In my early days, I got all my breast feeding wrong and ended up with mastitis, and had to take two weeks off school very very sick.
When the head teacher changed the values of the school changed, and it became clear that it would be best for me to move on. I applied to be Director of Sport, received an interview, but was not successful because I was not a qualified teacher. I make the decision to retrain, so that I can apply for jobs at this level. I leave to train as a teacher of maths, because I have a degree in maths. There is lots of additional support for me because I am training to teach a subject in demand.
Belinda, Julie, Kay and myself have continued to meet up as friends. We love the curry house in Sale, which is very close to Julie's house. The chef created fish based meals. The food was always exciting, freshly cut and delicious to eat.
Hey girls - I can't wait until we can meet up again.
Belinda has today sent me a voucher to spend in M & S. It came with a note saying, "I bet you have loads of flowers". How I laughed. Yes I have loads of flowers (and I love them), and it was funny. When I am well I will take the voucher to M & S and really enjoy spending it. Thanks Belinda. I love you. I love you son too. He is a beauty.
Sarah xxxx
Martha doing well
Martha is doing so well to stay at school through our experience together. She wants me to be able to take her to school. She wants me to be able to fulfil my role as mother and follow our routines. Martha, I am so looking forward to being able to take you to school - it is what I want to be able to do.
Getting ready for school today, Martha has crumbled. She has homework to complete, and she is able to complete the homework in her head. However, she could not find the words to write down her proof. She thinks that her teacher will stop her from going on the homework trip - there is a special trip for the pupils that have done their homework all year, and Martha is one of the group. They are going to "Go Ape" high level activity, for food, and then to see Despicable me 2. What a great day out!!
Martha thinks that her teacher is going to withdraw her from the trip, and she will not listen to me telling her that this is not going to happen.
When she left for school, she was crying and overwhelmed by all her emotions. I walked out to the car and put her seat belt on, giving her a big kiss. My mum watched me walk back into the house (rightly).
I fully expected her to be home again by now. She has done really well to continue at school all day. I called the school and let them know that she was upset; my mum said that her class teacher came and took her into school early. I have written a note in her link book. I want him to tell her that she will not lose her place on the homework trip. If he does this, it will help her relax a little.
At the end of it all, what she is dealing with is a great weight of uncertainty and changes and lack of routine and sickness and love. We love each other and will come through this together. Martha, you are amazing. I love you more and more every day - what I see is a beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, loving young woman who is growing into a beautiful body shape of long limbs and beautiful slender curves. You want to be an actress, and you are showing that you will be a good actress. You have many friends who are with you in all the different things that you do. Whatever you choose, I know you are making considered good choices. I love you. Mummy xxxx
Getting ready for school today, Martha has crumbled. She has homework to complete, and she is able to complete the homework in her head. However, she could not find the words to write down her proof. She thinks that her teacher will stop her from going on the homework trip - there is a special trip for the pupils that have done their homework all year, and Martha is one of the group. They are going to "Go Ape" high level activity, for food, and then to see Despicable me 2. What a great day out!!
Martha thinks that her teacher is going to withdraw her from the trip, and she will not listen to me telling her that this is not going to happen.
When she left for school, she was crying and overwhelmed by all her emotions. I walked out to the car and put her seat belt on, giving her a big kiss. My mum watched me walk back into the house (rightly).
I fully expected her to be home again by now. She has done really well to continue at school all day. I called the school and let them know that she was upset; my mum said that her class teacher came and took her into school early. I have written a note in her link book. I want him to tell her that she will not lose her place on the homework trip. If he does this, it will help her relax a little.
At the end of it all, what she is dealing with is a great weight of uncertainty and changes and lack of routine and sickness and love. We love each other and will come through this together. Martha, you are amazing. I love you more and more every day - what I see is a beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, loving young woman who is growing into a beautiful body shape of long limbs and beautiful slender curves. You want to be an actress, and you are showing that you will be a good actress. You have many friends who are with you in all the different things that you do. Whatever you choose, I know you are making considered good choices. I love you. Mummy xxxx
Brain tumour hair cut - I love it :);)
Pictures of my "old hair".
Nothing more to say, except thank you to Mark, my local hairdresser who came to my house to cut my hair. Great job, thank you.
Oncology appointment with surgeon - Wed (tomorrow) 1130 am.
Here it is - I go to see my doc tomorrow to find out what they found in my brain, and how we are going to finish it off forever...
Dave is annoyed that the meeting clashes with his board meeting. Sorry Dave.
Dave is annoyed that the meeting clashes with his board meeting. Sorry Dave.
Bad night
I had a terrible night, last night. I could not settle. The room is too hot. I have a fever. I open all the blinds to allow any air into the room, but of course the air is still. I get no breeze. I try to turn on my fan (usually used to dry wet beds!!) and discover that it isn't working. I have no moving air.
I try various things to help me sleep eg reading my book, lying with my eyes closed, reading the paper (Andy Murray - I am weeping with glee). Nothing works. I give up and tidy up the top of my chest of drawers. I put my running medals on two sides of a Renne Magritte poster - the one of two faces kissing: the faces are covered with greyish cloths. I empty my make up drawer of drugs. It is half full of various solutions to my "depression" , for example, vitamins, ibuprofen, paracetemol, and Katy's asthma inhalers, eye drops, eye patches even. I had a genuine eye injury a few years ago, where I scratched my cornea and was literally blinded in one eye for weeks.
After this, I lie down and close my eyes for sleep.
I do sleep. However, I have the most awful nightmare. I dream that I am in a house, and that I fall over flat onto my face. I am aware that my family are behind me - my mum, my two sisters and my brother. I am in agony, and I cannot believe that they are not coming to help me. I am trying to shout, but cannot call out. The noises I am making are grunts and moans and no words emerge. I eventually wake myself when I have built myself up to shout "MUM!". My mum is at my side.
After this, I do fall asleep. I sleep properly and wake at 6am ready for next round of drugs.
I phone my sister, Max who is always up bright and early. We have a good chat. Thanks Max.
I try various things to help me sleep eg reading my book, lying with my eyes closed, reading the paper (Andy Murray - I am weeping with glee). Nothing works. I give up and tidy up the top of my chest of drawers. I put my running medals on two sides of a Renne Magritte poster - the one of two faces kissing: the faces are covered with greyish cloths. I empty my make up drawer of drugs. It is half full of various solutions to my "depression" , for example, vitamins, ibuprofen, paracetemol, and Katy's asthma inhalers, eye drops, eye patches even. I had a genuine eye injury a few years ago, where I scratched my cornea and was literally blinded in one eye for weeks.
After this, I lie down and close my eyes for sleep.
I do sleep. However, I have the most awful nightmare. I dream that I am in a house, and that I fall over flat onto my face. I am aware that my family are behind me - my mum, my two sisters and my brother. I am in agony, and I cannot believe that they are not coming to help me. I am trying to shout, but cannot call out. The noises I am making are grunts and moans and no words emerge. I eventually wake myself when I have built myself up to shout "MUM!". My mum is at my side.
After this, I do fall asleep. I sleep properly and wake at 6am ready for next round of drugs.
I phone my sister, Max who is always up bright and early. We have a good chat. Thanks Max.
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